Tips For Men: Getting Permission From Daddy

Asking your girlfriend's father for his permission to marry his daughter is tradition. It allows for the father to "consider" the groom's ability to love and care for his daughter. It gives the father and the groom chance to get to know one another and feel comfortable around each other. Before you make a huge decision like this you want others to be on your side-you want their blessing and that is just what this is. You're getting the father's blessing to marry his daughter. If your girlfriend's father isn't involved in her life or has passed then you would ask her mother and maybe her older brother if she had one.

Now most of you are wanting the how-to on how to do this, because it very well can be intimidating and a little scary. If I was a guy I would be feeling the same way and I am very glad I didn't have to ask my husband's father or mother for permission to marry their son. Truth is, there really is no how-to because everyone is different and every circumstance is different. Here are some tips that I recommend based on other people's experiences as well as my husband's.


  • Make sure your soon-to-be bride has no idea you are planning on talking to her father. It makes it more of a surprise for her.
  • Usually most guy's talk to the bride's father the week before or few days before they plan on popping the question.
  • Be prepared for questions he may ask and be relaxed. Hopefully you have met him a few times before this point (for your benefit) and can anticipate what he may ask you.
  • If you can't meet to talk to him in person, then arrange a phone call where you are alone and won't have any distractions or interruptions. 
  • Practice in the mirror a few times before you call or meet him.
I unfortunately knew my husband went to go talk to my dad it was just too obvious. My husband came to visit me for the weekend as he was living in Washington I was in Oregon. Apparently he had the ring in his pocked the entire weekend and was just waiting for an opportunity where he could talk to my dad without me knowing. My dad was working crazy long hours at the time and whenever Ty tried to slip away without me knowing my dad couldn't meet up. So one night we were watching a movie and eating ice cream and my mom yelled to Ty that my dad wanted to talk to him. They went on a drive and I might add it was a long drive. I knew Ty was planning to propose soon so I knew that's what was happening. So when he got home I pretended like I didn't know what just happened even though I did. The next day he ended up proposing and I had no idea it was going to be that soon so it all ended up working out.

I have never known of anyones father turning the man down except in some TV shows so your chances are in your favor. You got this!

Jef Holm asking Emily Maynard's father permission on The Bachelorette


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