Experiencing 'Cold Feet'?

We have all heard of the expression 'Cold Feet' when getting married. We have seen it on tons of wedding movies. Unfortunately no one really talks about how to mentally prepare for your wedding day and avoiding cold feet. Getting married is a big step in your life and as a wedding planner, not only do I plan the wedding, but I am also here to bring you that comfort and assurance you may need. My hopes is after reading this post that you bride and you groom will feel relieved and much better about taking the step into marriage. 


The Wedding Knot says, "Got cold feet? Are you experiencing a chilling fear as you realize that you're about to spend the rest of your life with the same person? Don't worry, it happens. Most of the time, this freak-out period just means you're suffering from a case of pre-wedding jitters." So take it from a famous source and understand that almost everyone has these feelings. It's common. Below is a list to help you determine whether it's "Cold Feet" or something more.

Is this how you feel?

               They're getting on your nerves. I can't express to you how many times Ty and I both got on each other's nerves the whole time we were engaged and planning the wedding. It is totally normal. I have had friends approach me and ask if it is just them. It happens almost with everyone who gets married. Think about it. You are both stressed, busy, not getting much sleep, and it's building up. Now that the wedding planning is winding down so should it and it will. 

               Your'e freaking out because you're noticing changes in yourself. You're not eating, not sleeping, you're sweating all the time, panicking and then you start to question whether or not you're making the right decision. Stop right there and don't let it go any further. This is also very common amongst brides and will settle down once the wedding day rolls around. As girls we like to think and over-analyze everything. You know what I'm talking about and this is what is happening in this case.


               More issues are arising about living together and what each of you wants in your future home. For example, you want a dog and he hates them or he is a pack rat and has too much stuff and you want him to get rid of it. Merging two lives together is not a breeze. These reasons are not worth thinking twice about. It will all work out in the end and you both will be happy.


There are several other issues similar to this that you may be experiencing and if that is the case than don't worry, it's just the pre-wedding jitters. If the issues are more serious than these like: abuse, drug/alcohol addiction, betrayal then you should talk with a family member or seek professional help and postpone or call of the wedding. 


Marrying your best friend and sweetheart is the greatest day of your life. Say goodbye to the cold feet and pre-wedding jitters! 







"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

In the famous words of Cindy Lauper, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" brings me to my next topic of the bachelorette party. It is the last hoorah from single life to married life so make it good. The maid of honor and bridesmaids are in charge of planning it all. Remember to include co-workers, friends, cousins, and all the girls. The bachelorette party differs from the bridal shower in the sense that rules are, whoever is invited to the bridal shower must be invited to the wedding and that is not the case with the Bachelorette Party. When planning the bachelorette party make sure you don't do it the night before the wedding if you're going to do something extravagant. Typically the maid of honor and bridesmaids will cover the costs of the party, but remember it can get expensive on depending on what you decide to do. Here are some ideas some more extravagant than others:

Possible Bachelorette Party Ideas:
-NYC girls trip
-Spa weekend
-Glamping (Glamorous Camping)- Check out how fun this looks
-Dinner party
-Night on the town
-Concert
-Low-key night at someone's house with some fun bachelorette games
-Drinks/dessert at a restaurant
-Karaoke bar
-Tea party
-Bachelorette games- Here are some fun, creative game ideas

Make this fun for the bride and something she'll always remember. Do something you know she likes to do, or would like to do. This needs to be a night she can relax and let loose from all the wedding planning and stress. This night should be reserved for laughing, having fun, reminiscing and making fun of the bride. ;) You can even make it more exciting and have the guests bring gag gifts for the bride with something funny she has to wear all night or make it sexy and have everyone give lingerie. Make sure you do the gag gifts before your adventure so she can wear that silly wig or crown all night long.

My sister and friends made me wear a crown, boa, tutu, necklaces, and a sash that said "Bride To Be" I even was given a foam axe... don't ask me what that was for. We went out for drinks and then back to my girlfriend's house for dancing it was so much fun. It allowed me to go crazy and have some freedom before I got married. Make sure you remember to live by the song, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"!

My Super Fun Bachelorette Party. I have the best sister, friends, and cousins EVER!

Duties as a Groomsmen/Best Man

As a groomsmen or best man and in your friend's wedding you really don't have a lot of responsibilities to the wedding and the groom. Sure, you're a groomsmen and a best man but you don't have to help him pick out his tux or hold his hand on his wedding day. You also don't have to plan bridal showers or anything like that. You've got it easy compared to the bridesmaids and maid of honor. You're only real responsibility is to plan a sweet bachelor party for your buddy that he will always remember. You're probably thinking, "Why am I reading this post from this wedding planning chick? She's not a guy and has never been to a bachelor party." True, I haven't been to a bachelor party before and I am not a guy, but I love weddings and all things that come with a wedding and that does include a bachelor party. I like to think that I know guys-as I am married to one. I'm not here to tell you what you should do, I'm just here to give you some possible ideas and to remind you that you need to remember to do this and organize something. I know as guys you tend to forget and do things last minute but this should be planned out so no one has scheduling conflicts and you can make reservations if you need to. You want this to be a great night for your friend. It might be the last night away from his soon-to-be-wife and it's his last night as a "single" gent.

Possible Bachelor Party ideas:
-Skydiving
-Surfing outing at the beach
-White water rafting
-Trip to Vegas/Atlantic City-just remember to not make it a Hangover spin-off
-Go to a legit steakhouse
-Rent a yacht
-Ice fishing
-Weekend golf outing
-Road trip
-VIP room at the nightclub
-Party at someone's house

Maybe your buddy just wants something low key and that's fine too. Get all the groomsmen, brothers of the bride and groom, cousins, friends-all the men and just do something small. Usually all the guys will chip in to cover the costs for the groom on whatever you end up doing.

The best man is considered the host and is in charge of making sure everyone knows when, where, who, and what of the whole party. Do something that you have all talked about doing and have never gotten around to actually doing. Whatever you decide on doing don't do it the night before the wedding; give everyone sometime to recover. Remember to have fun and be safe!




Making It Legal

I know all the legal stuff isn't that fun to talk about but it is very important that you do it or you won't be able to get married. A marriage license is required in every state in the U.S. It is like a permit that says that you are allowed to get married. The rules and requirements for obtaining a marriage license vary from state to state and country to country. Independent of your location, nearly every city and county have websites where you can go online and find out what is required.

Here is a list of questions you will want to find out:


  • Is there a waiting period and how long is your marriage license valid? Some states have a waiting period of how long it takes to get the marriage license back (think of it as a processing period). You don't want to apply too early and end up having to reapply and pay more money because it expired. Aim to get the license about two weeks before your date. 
  • What documents will you need? Most states require birth certificates, proof of residency, driver's license, if you have been widowed or divorced copy of death certificate or divorce decree,
  • How much are the fees? All states have a few and it is up to you to pay that fee when you apply to get your license.
  • Is it a blood test required? The District of Columbia and females in Montana are the only two places that require this.
  • If you are having a destination wedding you will need to find out residency requirements (how long you must be in the county before you can apply). The country made have specific laws about how long you must be in the country before you can legally get married.
Here is a chart that lists the state, if they require a blood test, how long the waiting period is, and when the license expires. However, I'd recommend contacting your county to ensure this is still correct. Here is another website I found that has more details on what you need to bring, rules and fees. 

If you want to have a destination wedding in Mexico here is a link to information on what you will need to do. The same for the Bahamas.

Hopefully this information was useful and now when it comes down to the time where you need to get your marriage license you will know what to do and it will be easy and not stressful.




The Famous Article: "Marriage Isn't For You"

So my newsfeed on Facebook has been blown up with this new "Marriage Isn't For You" article by blogger, Seth Smith. Obviously I knew it was about marriage hence the title, but no idea why all my friends were reposting it. My husband and I were talking last night and he asked me if I read the article. I replied, "no" and he said that he hadn't either but he was reading on today.com how the guy wrote the article in hopes to touch someone who was going through a similar experience in their marriage. So I thought, I should probably read it. Since I write about weddings, mainly planning, I figured I switch it up today and talk about this post that has gotten an unbelievable amount of hits and it's significance. So if any of you haven't read it, I recommend giving in and reading what all this fuss is about. 

It starts off taking about how he has been married a year and a half and has decided that marriage isn't for him. A bold statement like that will get anyone to keep reading. He then gives their background and how he started having all those questions many of us have as marriage approaches: Am I marrying the right person, am I ready etc. etc. He went to talk to his dad about the "doubts" he was having and his dad shed some light on the issue that was very moving and comforting. He told him that he was being selfish and how marriage isn't for you. It's for the person you marry. You marry to make someone else happy. You marry for a family, for future children. It's not about you but for the person you married. 

He then shares how he has been going through some things and it had built up pressures and emotions in their marriage and in turn he had become "selfish." His wife however took him in her arms and showed him what love, marriage, selflessness, and forgiveness was all about. He says, "I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s (his wife) side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become all about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better." 

After reading this article I had the realization, how amazing it would be if we could all take Smith's father's advice and concentrate on our spouse, their needs, and what makes them happy. If we did that we would all be happy in our marriage and relationships. "The more you truly love that person the more love you receive," Smith states. 

So for me being married over two years now I can relate to this article. I love the messages that were shared. We all want to be better people, better husbands, better wives and reading this gives that inspiration you need. Marriage hasn't been a breeze and there are arguments where I just want to shake my husband, but if we can apply what Kim did in a similar circumstance and take our spouse into arms no matter how disrespectful, inconsiderate and selfish they have been to us, our "fight" can turn into an outpouring of love. 

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Don't forget what marriage is really about in all the hustle and bustle of wedding planning. 





Rehearsal Dinner

A rehearsal dinner is when the bride, groom, officiant, bridal party and their families all get together to run through the wedding ceremony usually the day before the wedding (but it doesn't have to be). It is typically in the evening and dinner is served following the rehearsal. It also gives a chance for families and friends to celebrate and come together in honor of the bride and groom in a more relaxed atmosphere.

It is customary that the groom's family host the rehearsal dinner but it is not obligatory. You will need to talk with the vendor about coming to use the site for the rehearsal. After the rehearsal you can go to a restaurant for the dinner or someone's home. Again, it is up to the groom's family or whoever is paying. Depending how many people you are inviting to the rehearsal dinner you can send out an invite or you can call or e-mail the guests. Besides the bridal party, family and the officiant it is also nice to invite the out of town guests and close friends. It is polite that the bride and groom introduce everyone as it maybe the first time that the parents or family are meeting each other. If the Maid of Honor and Best Man have gifts for the couple they can present them at the rehearsal. This is also where the bride and groom give their gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen. The main purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to relieve pre-wedding tension and make everyone feel included and comfortable without the stress of the next day.

You can choose to have a casual or formal event as long as you don't overshadow what's to come. Since the rehearsal dinner is more relaxed the food should complement that. You don't have to even have a dinner if you don't want to you can just have hors d'oeuvres, drinks or a BBQ. If you want a more intimate setting that's fine but you should do something for the out of town guests that are coming even if it's just a large dessert party the night before following the rehearsal dinner.

I had a "rehearsal dinner" if you want to call it that the night before my wedding. I didn't have an actual rehearsal but all my out of town family on my side and the groom's side got together and we all went out to dinner. Everyone paid their own way since it was very informal A rehearsal dinner is when the bride, groom, officiant, bridal party and their families all get together to run through the wedding ceremony usually the day before the wedding (but it doesn't have to be). It is typically in the evening and dinner is served following the rehearsal. It also gives a chance for families and friends to celebrate and come together in honor of the bride and groom in a more relaxed atmosphere.

It is customary that the groom's family host the rehearsal dinner but it is not obligatory. You will need to talk with the vendor about coming to use the site for the rehearsal. After the rehearsal you can go to a restaurant for the dinner or someone's home it is up to the groom's family or whoever is paying. Depending how many people you are inviting to the rehearsal dinner you can send out an invite or you can call or e-mail the guests. Besides the bridal party, family and the officiant it is also nice to invite the out of town guests and close friends. It is polite that the bride and groom introduce everyone as it maybe the first time that the parents or family are meeting each other. If the Maid of Honor and Best Man have gifts for the couple they can present them at the rehearsal. This is also where the bride and groom give their gifts to the bridesmaids and groomsmen. The main purpose of the rehearsal dinner is to relieve pre-wedding tension and make everyone feel included and comfortable without the stress of the next day.

You can choose to have a casual or formal event as long as you don't overshadow what's to come. Since the rehearsal dinner is more relaxed the food should compliment that. You don't have to even have a dinner if you don't want to you can just have hors d'oeuvres, drinks or a BBQ. If you want a more intimate setting that's fine but you should do something for the out of town guests that are coming whether it be just a large dessert party the night before following the rehearsal dinner.

I had a "rehearsal dinner" if you want to call it that the night before my wedding. I didn't have an actual rehearsal but all my out of town family on my side and the groom's side got together and we all went out to dinner. Everyone paid their own way since it was very informal and since we were having a luncheon the next day that Ty's family was paying for.

Having a rehearsal dinner is just one more occasion you get to spend with family and friends. The wedding weekend should be a non-stop party so you might as well have a rehearsal dinner.
Ty & I at our Rehearsal Dinner. As you can see very casual just at Fuddruckers.