So my newsfeed on Facebook has been blown up with this new "Marriage Isn't For You" article by blogger, Seth Smith. Obviously I knew it was about marriage hence the title, but no idea why all my friends were reposting it. My husband and I were talking last night and he asked me if I read the article. I replied, "no" and he said that he hadn't either but he was reading on today.com how the guy wrote the article in hopes to touch someone who was going through a similar experience in their marriage. So I thought, I should probably read it. Since I write about weddings, mainly planning, I figured I switch it up today and talk about this post that has gotten an unbelievable amount of hits and it's significance. So if any of you haven't read it, I recommend giving in and reading what all this fuss is about.
It starts off taking about how he has been married a year and a half and has decided that marriage isn't for him. A bold statement like that will get anyone to keep reading. He then gives their background and how he started having all those questions many of us have as marriage approaches: Am I marrying the right person, am I ready etc. etc. He went to talk to his dad about the "doubts" he was having and his dad shed some light on the issue that was very moving and comforting. He told him that he was being selfish and how marriage isn't for you. It's for the person you marry. You marry to make someone else happy. You marry for a family, for future children. It's not about you but for the person you married.
He then shares how he has been going through some things and it had built up pressures and emotions in their marriage and in turn he had become "selfish." His wife however took him in her arms and showed him what love, marriage, selflessness, and forgiveness was all about. He says, "I realized that I had forgotten my dad’s advice. While Kim’s (his wife) side of the marriage had been to love me, my side of the marriage had become about me. This awful realization brought me to tears, and I promised my wife that I would try to be better."
After reading this article I had the realization, how amazing it would be if we could all take Smith's father's advice and concentrate on our spouse, their needs, and what makes them happy. If we did that we would all be happy in our marriage and relationships. "The more you truly love that person the more love you receive," Smith states.
So for me being married over two years now I can relate to this article. I love the messages that were shared. We all want to be better people, better husbands, better wives and reading this gives that inspiration you need. Marriage hasn't been a breeze and there are arguments where I just want to shake my husband, but if we can apply what Kim did in a similar circumstance and take our spouse into arms no matter how disrespectful, inconsiderate and selfish they have been to us, our "fight" can turn into an outpouring of love.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. Don't forget what marriage is really about in all the hustle and bustle of wedding planning.